Chapter 12

Gary's POV

"Mark... come in.. come on...we'll talk about it... or we won't if you don't want to.." I held him tight in my arms and walked him to my living room.
"N..no...it's ok..." Mark sobbed hiding his face.
He feels weak gently i sit him down on the sofa. In a round about way i sort of expected him to be like this after telling Emma... god bet she hates me! "I'll put the kettle on..." Softly i brush his fringe back with my fingers and walk to the kitchen. I stand staring out of the kitchen window thinking of what Emma thought of her own husband being gay. She won't stop him from seeing the kids... no she can't....right? Quickly i shake my head from these negative thoughts and make him a coffee. "Do you fancy anything to eat Mark?" I place the mug in front of him on the coffee table.
Mark's face is blank. The tears have stopped falling and he's quiet. "Mark?" Worry hits me even more. Was it really that bad? "Mark... talk to me.. please?" Softly i place my hand on his shoulder to show i'll support him no matter what.
Very slowly he moves his head to look at my hand on his shoulder. His eyes sadden even more and a soft sigh leaves his  slightly parted lips.  "G..Gaz..." He whispers and looks up at me.
"Yes?" Please let him be ok.. i mean i know this is a shock it is for all of us, but i don't want him to get badly ill from all the stress, but then again if he does i'll be with him every step of the way.

Mark shakes his head like he's changed his mind about wanting to tell me something. "Erm... got anything...stronger...?" His eyes look at the steaming mug on the table in front of him.
"Nah ah... no Mark no chance.. you're not drinking..." I remove my hand from his shoulder and pick up his mug.
"Why not.. i'm old enough... and after all what's happened... i think it's needed..." Mark bites his lip a little and he plays with his own fingers which remain in his lap. It's like he's trying to control his nerves. He's itching for a drink like his life depends on it.
"No mate...i'm sorry but no... one drink will lead to another.. then to a bottle... i'm not having you back in that state again... frightened the life out of me..." I hand him his mug. Maybe i'm being too protective if i was in his situation i'd be laying in a gutter somewhere feeling sorry for myself. No Mark's better than that what he did telling Emma shows what kind of a man he is. He didn't cheat on her and i'm proud of him for doing so it took a lot of guts.

"No Gaz!" Mark pushes the mug away and storms to the kitchen like a child which has just been told no.
The sound of clinking glasses sounds from the kitchen. "Mark! No don't you even think about it!" Quickly i get up and go to the kitchen to find Mark about to pour himself a glass of Red Wine.
"Please... i need it..." His breathing increases. In a way it scares me seeing him like this. He's making out he can't survive without it. No he can't not now he's been sober for 3years!
"Mark! Give it!" I grab the half filled glass from him.
He doesn't fight back instead he reaches for the whole bottle whilst tipping his head back ready to take a big swig from it.
"MARK!" Without thinking anymore about it i hit the bottle from his hamd causing it to smash against the wall. The kitchen fills with glass and red liquid looking more like a murder scene.

"W...Why...? Why do that??" Mark frowns his eyebrows at me. "I needed that!"
Need? What does he mean need?? Why is he acting like it's oxygen?? "Mark snap out of it! Whilst you're under this roof and you're with me no alcohol is going to enter your body! Do you understand how worried and scared we all were when you first started to become a heavy drinker?? We thought we were going to lose you...no .... never again... i mean it... we will get through this together without drink this will just cause it to be 10 times worse! You need to be there even more now for your children they are going to need you and not you passed out somewhere...." My breathing increases a little from anger building inside of me. It needed to be said... even if i feel even more guilty.

"I...I.." Mark looks up at me. He looks lost and his face has turned a little white.
I look back at him moving a little closer to him. "Are you o-" Before i could finish my sentence Mark falls against me causing both of us to fall to the kitchen floor with a loud THUD. "Mark?? Mark are you ok???" Quickly i lift his head so he's cradled in my arms. His eyes are closed. Shit has he passed out?! "Mark wake up?? Talk to me?" I pat his cheek a little. Within a few seconds Mark's twitches his eyelids. "Oh thank god... are you ok??" My heart pounds in my chest.
"Ga...Gary..." Mark slowly opens his eyes and looks at me.
"I'm here Mark... it's ok..." My fingers run through his hair.
"Oh Gary..." Out of nowhere Mark completely breaks down into my arms. Pushing his head against my chest and holding tight to my shirt.
"Ssssh... it's ok Mark... let it out... let it all out... i'm here for you..." Gently i stroke his back comforting him the best i can.

After about half an hour of us both sat on the kitchen floor Mark looks as if he's about to drift off. "Come on... lets get you to bed... you're tired out..." Slowly i help him to his feet. Not even bothering to clean the mess up in the kitchen i turn the light off and walk him straight upstairs with my arm wrapped around him to help support us. "You can have my bed..." I sit him down on the bed and start to take off his shoes and socks. A soft yawn leaves his mouth whilst i undress him until he's left in his shirt and boxers. "Night Mark..." I help him into the bed and tuck the duvet around him just before i leave the room i place a soft kiss on his forehead.

"N...No...wa..wait..." Mark sits up quickly just before i leave the room.
I turn back round to look at him half asleep sat up in bed. "Yes?"
"P...Please... stay in here tonight... don't...don't leave me as well... i'm scared to be alone... " His heavy eyes start to well up again.
"O..Ok.. i wont leave you i'll sleep along side you..." Softly i smile and change into some night shorts and a vest. It's not like it's the first time i've shared a bed with Mark we've done it way back when the band first started even though Mark was more with Robbie than me.. it didn't feel strange. I pull the duvet up around us . Mark lays back down and sighs a little happier than before. "Night Mark..." I give him a friendly smile and close my eyes.
"Night Gaz..." Mark snuggles up to me close. The side of his forehead against my bicep. Slowly i wrap my arm around him allowing his head to rest against my chest. It wasn't long until we both drifted off.