Chapter 16

Gary's POV

The soft chirping of birds from outside wake me up. Slowly i open my eyes to find Mark fast asleep in my arms still. Last night was truly amazing and simply beautiful. My fingers run through his messy hair everything about him is perfect even his hair is! A soft smile appears on his face. "Morning beautiful..."
"Mmm..." Mark buries his face against my bare chest not wanting to open his eyes.
"I said... morning beautiful!" Gently i place kisses in his neck tickling him as much as possible with my lips and tongue.
"GAAAZ!!" Mark giggles loudly. "I'm awake i'm awake!"
Tightly i wrap my arms around him and plant a big kiss on his forehead. "Yay..."
"Mmm... last night was amazing...." He softly strokes my bare arm. Both of us lay together in bed still naked from last night.
"Sure was... the best..." I nuzzle against his neck and shoulder inhaling his scent.
Mark stretches a little closing his eyes again. "What time is it...?" He mumbles.
I pick up my phone from the bedside table. "It's 1:30."
"In the morning?"
"Erm... no we didn't go to bed until about 2am last night... it's 1:30 in the afternoon." I stroke his hair again.
"WHAT?! No no no i've only got an hour!" Mark jumps out of bed. He quickly starts to get dressed looking for his clothes.
"Woah Mark calm down mate?? What's wrong?" I sit up confused watching him get dressed.
"Erm... i need to get to the school...s...sorry Gaz..." He sighs softly. "I'm a mess... ignore me.. i just thought i could get something right... i've fucked up my marriage... at least i could still be a good dad to my kids..."
I shake my head softly. "You are the best Dad those kids could ever ask for... you're always there for them... don't ever doubt that Mark...they love you to pieces..."
"Y..yeah.. i hope so.." He runs his hand through his messy fringe.
"I know so... now... lets get to that school."

Within 45 minutes we finally got to the school we would of got there sooner if a range rover in front didn't decide to break down! There was a line outside the entrance where parents are being let in. "Will you come with me Gaz?" Mark looks up at me looking a bit worried.
"But isn't Emma in there? Surly she'll have a problem seeing us together..?"
Mark doesn't reply instead he just gets out the car and walks over to the gates of the school. I sigh a little and take deep breath before getting out the car and following him. "Mark.... wait for me then."

We both stand in line. Emma is no where to be seen she's either late or is already inside. "Tickets gents." A smartly dressed woman holds out her hand to me and Mark.
"Errr?" I look at Mark. He never mentioned anything about tickets.
Mark looks with a confused face at her. "T...tickets? No one told me you needed tickets?"
"Sorry, but you can't get in without tickets.. that's the rules." She continues taking tickets off the other parents and letting them in. Mark almost looks like he's about to cry.
"B...But... i've come for my little boy... Luke... Luke Owen?? I'm his dad... come on you've got to let me in! Please!"
"Sorry... but like i said no tickets no entry... we don't know every parent you could be anyone... this is for the child's sake." The final set of parents walk in.
"I'M NOT JUST ANYONE! I'M MARK OWEN AND MY SON IS IN THERE!" Mark shouts at her causing some other teachers to come outside.
"Sir please leave the school site before we ring the police." They point to the exit of the car park.
"Come on Mark..." I take his arm.
A few tears leave his eyes which he angrily wipes away whilst walking with me. "They fucking can't do this. That's my son in there! Maybe there's another way of getting in..." He turns back watching the teachers lock the front door of the school.
"Or...maybe we should leave it... instead of risking getting arrested?"
Mark looks at me and frowns. "How could you say that like it doesn't matter! I thought better of you Gary." He walks off to the other side of the school. Great we really are going to get into trouble now.
"Mark wait! Come on please!" I run after him. He tries the other door, but it's locked the only way is a window which is rather high to climb up to. "See.. we can't even get in... we can't do anything about it... babe let's just wait until it's finished and you can see him..."

Mark freezes as if he's thought of something a small smile forms at the corners of his mouth. "Can i sit on your shoulders and watch through the window?"
"Eh? I've got a bad back mate and it's a bit dangerous." The sound of clapping comes from inside the window.
"Now welcome on stage Luke Owen!" A voice says and the clapping gets louder.
"Please Gary please please!!" Mark almost begged tugging at my shirt.
I pause for a few seconds and sighs. "Right ok..."
"Thank Gary!!" He kisses me on the lips. Quickly i bend down and allow him to get onto my shoulder. He's not that heavy, but i'm not that strong either.
"Grab...onto the...window ledge... so you wont fall.." I stand up so he can hold onto the window ledge.
"I can see him!!" Mark smiles looking through the window.

After 10minutes Luke's part was over. "Right come on Mark... lets get out of here."
"No no wait.... Well done Luke!! Daddy's proud of you!!" Mark shouts through the window. Oh shit. The claps stops and a few people gasp.
"Mark! We need to get out of here!" I quickly bend down so he can get off my shoulders. "Come on!" I pull his arm back to the car.

"MARK!" We hear a voice call behind us. It's Emma and she doesn't look too pleased. "What are you playing at??" She walks up to us.
"I wanted to see MY son. What's the problem??" Mark frowns.
A small blonde haired boy runs out from behind Emma wrapping his arms around Mark's leg. "DADDY!"
"Luke! Oh son... Daddy is so so proud of you... i've missed you so much!" He pulls him into his arms and begins to well up. Seeing the pair like this almost starts the waterworks off for me!
"Luke.. come on we need to go home... i'll buy you an ice cream.." Emma takes his hand.
"Daddy will come and visit soon..." Mark wipes his eyes.
Emma shakes her head. "Daddy is busy a the moment... with his missus." She walks back to her car.
"Yeah nice one!" Mark calls back mumbling under his breath whilst he walks back to the car.
Wait... missus?? That means.. that means Mark never told her that i was the person he was seeing.... has he changed his mind?! Instantly i feel sick just standing in the middle of the car park. Why hasn't he told her....?

Chapter 15

Gary's POV

My fingers run through Mark's neck hair and along his back. Mark's lips feel just how they look soft, wet and breathtaking. Is this really happening? Slowly we both pull away at the same time and look at one another. His face showed a blank expression maybe he regrets doing that...but i for one enjoyed it whilst it lasted. "Erm...s..sorry.." I swallowed a little and looked down.
"Why? I was the one who did it..." Mark bit his bottom lip a little covering up his cheeky grin.
"D...Do you regret it?"
Mark rolls his eyes at me whilst gently pushing me back into the pillows and starts off another breathtaking kiss. I could feel Mark's bare legs rub against my trousers and his stomach pressing against my bulge. This is amazing. He's amazing. My breathing started to increase feeling him fiddle with each of the buttons on my shirt. The warmth from his palms stroking my now bare chest as he tears away my shirt tossing it to the floor. Gently he plants soft kisses from behind my ear, to my neck then to my chest. It's like as if fireworks are exploding in my stomach. Mark's hands slowly snake down to the belt of my trousers causing my eyes to snap open gripping to his hands. "What?" A confused look forms on Mark's face.
"Are you sure?" My hands still hold Mark's wrists. Stopping him in his actions.
He lets go of my trousers. "You're right... i shouldn't rush you...sorry Gaz..."
"N...No i mean... i want to... but...are you ready? Are we ready? I've never done this with a man before... i don't want to loose you if it doesn't go to planned... i love you too much Mark..." Tears start to burn in my eyes.
"That will never happen... i love you too Gary... a lot... if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out..." Mark gently strokes my cheek with the back of my hand making me feel safe.
"Promise?"
"I promise." He smiles.

After about half another of kissing and touching it felt like it was finally time. I feel like a teenager again ready for my first time, but then again it is my first time....with Mark. Slowly i reach into the bedside table's drawer and hand him a small packet containing a condom. "Want...me to er..." Pointing to the rather large visible erection in Mark's boxers.
"Sure..." He blushes slightly handing back the packet. Carefully i open the packet whilst Mark removes his boxers allowing himself to spring free. Wow... It's the first time i've been this close to a man before...even though we've all fooled around in the past this was different... a lot different and it felt good.. my first time this way couldn't get any better than with my best friend... the man i love... Gently i roll the condom onto his hardened member. "Ah..Gaz.." Mark hisses through his teeth from my touch.

Mark makes his way back onto my stomach feeling his erection dig into my thigh whilst his fingers hook the hem of my boxers tugging them to my ankles. God the things this man is doing to me is unbelievable. "R...Ready?" Mark pants looking up at me.
"Ready..." Shyly i grin at him wrapping my arms around the back of his neck. We sealed our promise with a deep passionate kiss. My heart started to increase it almost jumped out my chest feeling Mark get even closer until he couldn't get much more, as he finally entered me. "FUCK." A loud grunt leaves my lips.
"Oooh... Gaz..." Mark rolls his head against my neck whilst he starts nice and slow allowing us both to get use to it. At first it was a burning pain which was soon replaced by pleasure.
"Oh god...." His thrusts begin to increase driving me even more insane.
Mark lifts his head and looks at me. "Do...Do you want... me to...stop?"
"N...No...please don't..." I almost growl. This feels way too good for him to stop. Fuck this is amazing!
"Good!" Mark grins tugging my lip into between his teeth.

I'm so close to my limit feeling Mark slowly pull out then slam back into me. "Fuck...M..Mark...I..I'm..." My whole body begins to tremble from this pleasurable pain.
"M..Me..too..." Our lips vibrate against one another from our moans. My slightly parted lips gain Mark's tongue access allowing him to explore my mouth. Feeling him slide his tongue against mine and teasingly bite it completely throws me off the edge unable to hold it in much longer i finally let myself go shouting out his name. "M...M....MAAAARRKK!!!" I collapse into the pillows. It wasn't long after me releasing Mark had finally reached his limit too. A few moans and groans fill the room as he also lets go riding out his orgasm. "FUCKING HELL GAZ!!" Mark moans against my neck. We both lay panting together. Slowly with the last bit of energy i have i stroke Mark's dampened hair whilst he lays on my chest. "Love you..." Softly i whisper trying to keep my eyes open.
"Love you too.." Mark smiles against my chest with his eyes closed. I wrap the duvet over us both. There wouldn't be a better way for the night to end than the pair of us to fall asleep together.

Chapter 14

Mark and Gary set off to go clothes shopping for their first date with one another later on in the evening. Mark dragged Gary round all his favourite clothes shopping. It was clear that Gary didn't really care what he wore as long as it was comfy. Mark on the other hand was the stylish one fashion always comes before comfort. After a few shops Mark finally settled on an outfit maybe he was a little over dressed, but then again this is a date. A white and blue floral shirt was smart black trousers and a black trybl perched on his head followed by some brown boots. Mark was ready...now it's time for him to pick Gary's outfit!

Gary's POV

"Oh come on Mark.. i've got a shirt and trousers at home i'll just wear them." I slumped down in a chair.
Mark shook his head and looked through some of the shirts on a clothes rail. Those shirts wouldn't be my first choice when i'm out shopping alone, but then again Mark is like the fashion police and he knows what he's doing. "Ooooo this is nice." Mark grins holding out a pink and purple striped shirt.
"Bloody hell.. bit bright isn't it?" Cheekily i placed my hand over my eyes.
"Cheeky sod it's nice. " Mark continued looking through the clothes rail. After about half an hour and several 'No's' to me wanting a basic outfit we finally decided on one together. A sort of denim blue checkered shirt. "Can we go now...?" I gave him a boyish smile. We walked over to the pay desk and paid for ours things without Mark knowing i paid for both of our outfits. Tonight i wanted to treat him he needed it.
"Yes..yes..." He picked up the bag containing his outfit.

Mark had been in the bathroom for over an hour. I was already dressed he's worse than a woman! "Mark are you almost done? Times ticking i want to get there before next year." Cheekily laughed whilst swinging my legs sitting on the bed.
"What's the rush? Are you going to turn after midnight?" Mark chuckled.
A sounded of buzzing sounded on the nearby table in the bedroom. "Funny aren't you." I picked up Mark's phone. It was a few messages from Emma. Shit. No she isn't going to ruin our night. 3 new message from Emma. - You need to come and fetch your things otherwise they'll be on the fire. What a lovely message. The bathroom door locked snapped open. Quickly i put his phone in the drawer. "Ready?" I grinned waiting for him to come out. My jaw instantly dropped when he walked out the bathroom. "W..wow.." I mumbled.
"Is it too much?" Mark frowned. "I'll go get changed." Before Mark went back into the bathroom a grabbed his wrist.
"No..no.. don't.. you look stunning." Softly i smiled eyeing him up.
Mark's cheeks instantly started to change to a shade of red. "I haven't had that said about me before...thank you..."
How could Emma not compliment someone as beautiful as Mark?! Or anyone for that matter. "You're welcome.. should we go?"
"Yes." Mark smiled with excitement.

After a short drive we finally arrived at the restaurant. A little later than planned but oh well. The waiter walked us to our table it wasn't booked but that's what you get for being in a well known band. "Think i fancy a steak." I flicked through the menu.
"You don't have a stater?" Mark peered up from his menu.
"No not really just get stuck in."
Mark smiled sweetly at me. "I'll have the same then."
We order ours steaks and begin to engage in conversation. He was a little quiet which was understandable. "So... do you like it here?" I sip from my champagne.
"Erm.. yeah... it's great..."  He clears his throat a little.
I look at him. "Mark.. is there anything else bothering you..? I know what's happened is hard... but you can tell me anything you know that.."
"It's nothing.. honest..."
"Please talk to me..." Softly i brush the top of his hand.
A little sigh leaves his lips. "It's Luke's school play tomorrow...he's been talking about it non stop for the past 3weeks... i even helped him rehearse his parts...but..." Mark pauses and looks down.
"But Emma wont let you go now?" I ask.
He nods a little. "yeah..."
"She can't do that... you need to tell her Mark..." My hand covers his.
"I'll show you the texts.." He puts his hands in his pockets. Oh shit i hid it from him. "Where..is my..?" A confused look fills his face. Thankfully the waiter comes back with our food which saves me from confessing.

"Urgh.. i'm full!" I push away my empty plate. Mark looks like he's barely even started his.
"Yeah me too... rather filling."
I raise my eyebrow at him. "Have you even eaten any? You wont grow up to be a big boy."
"Quiet Barlow. I'm only little you know.. and not greedy like some." He chuckles.
"Cheeky sod." I roll my eyes playfully. "I've got some ice cream at home if you want some?"
Mark laughs. "We've only just eaten."
"Fine more for me then." I wink and pay the bill.
"Ay i never said i didn't want any!"

"I might go and get changed for bed Gaz." Mark smiles whilst hanging up his hat and coat.
"Ok. No problem i'll get the ice cream." I smile at him as he skips off upstairs. Tonight as has been great it's good to see him smile again. I mean seeing Mark Owen without a smile on his face is rather an usual thing. He's also partly famous for having that charming grin plastered on his face. I grab two bowls and add some scoops of ice cream along with a squirt of chocolate sauce on each. Carefully i walk upstairs with the two bowls. "Mark?" I knock and walk into the bedroom to find Mark just in his boxers.
"Oh...er... hiya." He blushes covering himself with his shirt.
I also blush trying my best to not look at the half naked man in my bedroom. I couldn't help it. He's gorgeous. "H...here.." Still looking at him i hand him the bowl and join him on the bed.
"Thank you..."

"Tonight has been really good... thank you." Mark smiles whilst eating his ice cream.
"You're more than welcome mate... glad to see you smiling again." I study the spoon which touches Mark's tongue. Nice and slow. Quickly i shake away certain thoughts. This isn't the time.
"It feels good too... you're great support..." He smiles looking into my eyes.
I feel like a teenager again. Flutters swirl around my stomach. "It's nothing..it's the least i can do..."
Mark shuffles a little closer towards me. His face almost touching mine. "It isn't just nothing to me.. it means a lot.." My stomach starts to do flips what i wouldn't do to feel my lips on his. Let my finger run through that soft brown floppy fringe. Breath hitched in the back of my throat i look down a little into my bowl. "Anytime..."
A finger touches underneath my chin causing me to raise my head. My eyes met Mark's again. "I mean it..." He moved closer to me until there was no longer a gap. Our lips finally met and stayed like that for a least a minute or two.

Chapter 13

Mark walked back into his house, as soon as he walked through the door he was greeted by Emma. "What's this??!" She threw a newspaper at him.

"H..Huh?" He didn't expect to see Emma he was expecting his mum to be babysitting. Nervously he picked up the newspaper. 

"READ!" Her heart pounded in her chest was it really that bad? On the front of the newspaper showed Mark kissing someone. That wasn't just a 'someone' a random stranger...no... this was Gary...Gary Barlow. A lump formed in Mark's throat he didn't prepare for this. How did the papers even find out so quick?

"Em...." His eyes slowly looked up to hers. 

"Save it..." She shook her head walking upstairs. "You don't belong here... you don't have no reason to be here..." 

Mark felt like his heart was about to burst. Sickness hit the pit of his stomach. "T...The k...kids.." Mark stuttered. 

"If you think you're going to keep in contact with them you can think on! Go back to your boyfriend!" Emma shouted and walked upstairs. 

"NO EMMA NO! Please don't take my kids away.. please...please...my kids...please...." Mark sobbed loudly at the bottom of the stairs.

"Mark? Mark??? Are you ok??" A voice spoke in his ear. 

"H..Huh??" Mark shook his head. 

"Mark wake up!" Like the voice told him Mark opened his eyes. 

Gary's POV

"Mark??" I quickly pulled him into my arms once his eyes opened. 

He looked around the room looking lost. "W...Where am i...?" Mark asked whilst panting. 

"It was just a dream Mark...sssh... it's ok..." Softly i kissed his forehead. 

He still continued to look around the room his forehead was a little sweaty. "B...but...Emma...the newspaper...my kids...where are my kids???"  Mark's eyes widened. 

Gosh... i hate seeing him like this... poor man... "They're with Emma... everythings fine.. you just had a bad dream..."
"Oh..s..sorry..." Mark sighed and rested his head against my chest whilst my arms remind tightly around him.
"Ssshh...." My hand stroked his back softy.

"What shall we do today? Stay in or go out? Heard there's a nice new place just opened up only a 30 minute drive." I smiled a little whilst getting dressed.
Mark sat up in bed watching me getting dressed. "New place? I haven't heard of that?"
"It's not called new place i'm not sure of that place but it looks fancy and low key." It's been a while since me and Mark's been out alone without the other lads.
"Sounds great...erm...is this a date...?" Mark gave me a boyish grin.
Softly i stroked his fringe which rested over his right eye. "It can be whatever you want it to be."
"B...but i don't have any smart clothes.. there all at ou- erm... Emma's..." Mark swallowed hard.
Again hearing him say that made the guilt come back. I'll do whatever it takes to see him smiling and enjoying himself again. "Come on Mr Owen... we've got some clothes shopping to do...before we go on our date."
Mark's face instantly lit up when i said that. The most colour i've seen in his face since he's been here. "Really??!"
"Really." I smiled.

Chapter 12

Gary's POV

"Mark... come in.. come on...we'll talk about it... or we won't if you don't want to.." I held him tight in my arms and walked him to my living room.
"N..no...it's ok..." Mark sobbed hiding his face.
He feels weak gently i sit him down on the sofa. In a round about way i sort of expected him to be like this after telling Emma... god bet she hates me! "I'll put the kettle on..." Softly i brush his fringe back with my fingers and walk to the kitchen. I stand staring out of the kitchen window thinking of what Emma thought of her own husband being gay. She won't stop him from seeing the kids... no she can't....right? Quickly i shake my head from these negative thoughts and make him a coffee. "Do you fancy anything to eat Mark?" I place the mug in front of him on the coffee table.
Mark's face is blank. The tears have stopped falling and he's quiet. "Mark?" Worry hits me even more. Was it really that bad? "Mark... talk to me.. please?" Softly i place my hand on his shoulder to show i'll support him no matter what.
Very slowly he moves his head to look at my hand on his shoulder. His eyes sadden even more and a soft sigh leaves his  slightly parted lips.  "G..Gaz..." He whispers and looks up at me.
"Yes?" Please let him be ok.. i mean i know this is a shock it is for all of us, but i don't want him to get badly ill from all the stress, but then again if he does i'll be with him every step of the way.

Mark shakes his head like he's changed his mind about wanting to tell me something. "Erm... got anything...stronger...?" His eyes look at the steaming mug on the table in front of him.
"Nah ah... no Mark no chance.. you're not drinking..." I remove my hand from his shoulder and pick up his mug.
"Why not.. i'm old enough... and after all what's happened... i think it's needed..." Mark bites his lip a little and he plays with his own fingers which remain in his lap. It's like he's trying to control his nerves. He's itching for a drink like his life depends on it.
"No mate...i'm sorry but no... one drink will lead to another.. then to a bottle... i'm not having you back in that state again... frightened the life out of me..." I hand him his mug. Maybe i'm being too protective if i was in his situation i'd be laying in a gutter somewhere feeling sorry for myself. No Mark's better than that what he did telling Emma shows what kind of a man he is. He didn't cheat on her and i'm proud of him for doing so it took a lot of guts.

"No Gaz!" Mark pushes the mug away and storms to the kitchen like a child which has just been told no.
The sound of clinking glasses sounds from the kitchen. "Mark! No don't you even think about it!" Quickly i get up and go to the kitchen to find Mark about to pour himself a glass of Red Wine.
"Please... i need it..." His breathing increases. In a way it scares me seeing him like this. He's making out he can't survive without it. No he can't not now he's been sober for 3years!
"Mark! Give it!" I grab the half filled glass from him.
He doesn't fight back instead he reaches for the whole bottle whilst tipping his head back ready to take a big swig from it.
"MARK!" Without thinking anymore about it i hit the bottle from his hamd causing it to smash against the wall. The kitchen fills with glass and red liquid looking more like a murder scene.

"W...Why...? Why do that??" Mark frowns his eyebrows at me. "I needed that!"
Need? What does he mean need?? Why is he acting like it's oxygen?? "Mark snap out of it! Whilst you're under this roof and you're with me no alcohol is going to enter your body! Do you understand how worried and scared we all were when you first started to become a heavy drinker?? We thought we were going to lose you...no .... never again... i mean it... we will get through this together without drink this will just cause it to be 10 times worse! You need to be there even more now for your children they are going to need you and not you passed out somewhere...." My breathing increases a little from anger building inside of me. It needed to be said... even if i feel even more guilty.

"I...I.." Mark looks up at me. He looks lost and his face has turned a little white.
I look back at him moving a little closer to him. "Are you o-" Before i could finish my sentence Mark falls against me causing both of us to fall to the kitchen floor with a loud THUD. "Mark?? Mark are you ok???" Quickly i lift his head so he's cradled in my arms. His eyes are closed. Shit has he passed out?! "Mark wake up?? Talk to me?" I pat his cheek a little. Within a few seconds Mark's twitches his eyelids. "Oh thank god... are you ok??" My heart pounds in my chest.
"Ga...Gary..." Mark slowly opens his eyes and looks at me.
"I'm here Mark... it's ok..." My fingers run through his hair.
"Oh Gary..." Out of nowhere Mark completely breaks down into my arms. Pushing his head against my chest and holding tight to my shirt.
"Ssssh... it's ok Mark... let it out... let it all out... i'm here for you..." Gently i stroke his back comforting him the best i can.

After about half an hour of us both sat on the kitchen floor Mark looks as if he's about to drift off. "Come on... lets get you to bed... you're tired out..." Slowly i help him to his feet. Not even bothering to clean the mess up in the kitchen i turn the light off and walk him straight upstairs with my arm wrapped around him to help support us. "You can have my bed..." I sit him down on the bed and start to take off his shoes and socks. A soft yawn leaves his mouth whilst i undress him until he's left in his shirt and boxers. "Night Mark..." I help him into the bed and tuck the duvet around him just before i leave the room i place a soft kiss on his forehead.

"N...No...wa..wait..." Mark sits up quickly just before i leave the room.
I turn back round to look at him half asleep sat up in bed. "Yes?"
"P...Please... stay in here tonight... don't...don't leave me as well... i'm scared to be alone... " His heavy eyes start to well up again.
"O..Ok.. i wont leave you i'll sleep along side you..." Softly i smile and change into some night shorts and a vest. It's not like it's the first time i've shared a bed with Mark we've done it way back when the band first started even though Mark was more with Robbie than me.. it didn't feel strange. I pull the duvet up around us . Mark lays back down and sighs a little happier than before. "Night Mark..." I give him a friendly smile and close my eyes.
"Night Gaz..." Mark snuggles up to me close. The side of his forehead against my bicep. Slowly i wrap my arm around him allowing his head to rest against my chest. It wasn't long until we both drifted off.

Chapter 11

*It's been 2 months since the tour has been over. Mark and Gary start to become closer and like Mark promised he'd tell Emma before it got too serious, so he doesn't cheat on her.*

Mark's POV

"Come on Owen... you can do this... it's better than cheating on her." I sit in the kitchen my hands wrapped around a hot mug of coffee. Emma was upstairs getting Lucy off to sleep. There's always too much sugar in the house on a school night.
"Finally she's off...nothing a princess story can't fix..." After about 20minutes Emma came down and turned the kettle on. She's beautiful no faults about her, a fantastic mother. This will break her... i can't do it... my nerves started to kick in now. "Mark?" I felt a hand stroke my back a little. Slowly i turned round to a half smiling Emma looking at me.
"Y...Yeah...?" I try and force out a smile. If i'm not smiling then people will know there's something bothering me.
"You seem quiet tonight...is everything ok?" She poured some hot water into her mug.
"There's nothing babe..." I drum my fingers on the table a little and feel a buzz in my pocket. Quickly i get my phone out my pocket. 1 new message from - Gaz. I take quiet deep breath and open the text. Hello lad just letting you know how proud i am of you for doing this please let me know how you are when you're feeling like it... i miss you and love you xx Gaz.
I love that man so much... i've got to do it now..
"Em..." I keep my back facing her i can't bring myself to look at her otherwise the tears will come flooding out.
"Yes babe?" She asks in her sweet voice. She'll find a better man... someone who will never break her heart... that man isn't me...
"I...er...w...we need to talk..." I sigh softly and run my hand through my hair feeling a little disappointed in myself. "Be a man Mark." I repeat in my head.
"Oh..Mark are you okay?" Already she knows somethings not right.

"Emma...s..sit down... please..." My hands begin to shake a little. Emma sits down in front of me with her mug whilst worry slowly fills her face. "I...erm...i don't know...how to say this...." I bite my lip a little to hold the tears in.
"There's someone...else isn't there...?" Her eyes look at me with deep sadness. Wow she's good...
Softly i nod and look down into my coffee focusing on the steam.
"You could at least look at me Mark.." She starts to sob a little. My heart instantly breaks a little the worst thing is to hear you loved one cry especially if you're the cause.
"I..I'm...s..sorry.." I swallow hard and slowly look up at her. Tears run down her cheeks.
"I knew..i knew there was something going on... who is she...? Do i know her?" She wipes her tears.
"N...No..." My mind drifts off it's not technically a lie.. because Gary isn't a woman... right now isn't the time to tell her it's Gary seeing as we aren't in a full relationship yet.
"Liar!" Emma gets up and walks to the sink where she continues to cry.

"Emma please... i'm not lying to you... i've told you the truth about me seeing someone... i wish it didn't turn out like this...i love you i really do... please don't ever doubt our marriage... i love you...but..." Tears start burning in my eyes.
"But what?? You set eyes on someone else?? Why did you marry me if you didn't mean your vows?? I can't believe you'd do this..." She doesn't look at me and i don't blame her.
"I love you...i'm sorry...but we can't help who we fall in love with... i haven't cheated on you...i've told you...you've got to believe me.."  Softly i start to cry.
"Believe you??? That's the last thing i'm going to do right now... just go Mark.. i can't stand to look at you anymore." Still she doesn't turn around.
"B...but the kids... can i..." My stomach churns at the thought of her not allowing me to see my children anymore.
"You'll get the divorce papers in a few weeks..." Emma sighs.
"Emma...please...what...what about the kids..." I walk towards her.
"JUST GET OUT MARK!" She slaps my left cheek which causes me to fall against the table and knocking the mugs on the floor. Loud smashes fill the kitchen. More and more tears leave my eyes. "Pack your things...and go..."

I do as she says quickly i go upstairs and pack some of my clothes. It's only a small sports bag i can find so i can't fit many clothes in. Once i've packed as much as it can hold i leave the bedroom and go back down. "Em...Emma?" I take a deep breath.
"What?" She looks at me with red eyes from her tears.
"I...If you need anything...please ring me... i'll give you anything you want... i'll pay for the house for you and the kids to keep...i'm sorry..." Quickly i wipe the tears which escape my eyes.
She doesn't reply. A soft nod was the last thing i see her do that night.
"B..Bye..." Quietly i close the kitchen door and walk to the front door wiping my eyes.
"Daddy?" A soft voice comes from the top of the stairs. As i look up i see Lucy holding her blanket rubbing her eyes. "Where are you going Dad?"
My heart feels like it's just be stabbed a thousand times. I can't tell her that i might not be around for a few days which is killing me by the thought.  "'ello princess... Daddy's just going away for a few days... he'll be back don't worry..." Again i force out a false smile.
She walks down the stairs and gives me a hug. "I'll miss you Daddy.."
I bend down to her height and hug her tightly allowing her to bury her face in my chest. "I'll be back darling... promise... look after your mummy please... and your brother...i love you all very very much...don't ever forget that..." More tears leave my eyes.
"Don't cry Daddy... i love you..." Lucy kisses my cheek.
"I love you too Angel..." I kiss her forehead. "Now go back to sleep..naughty..."

Lucy goes back upstairs to bed. I stand in the hallway for a few minutes just getting my head together. Mixture of thoughts swirl around my head. Slowly i walk to the front door and quietly as possible i close it behind me. Quickly i walk to my car throwing my bag onto the back seat i rest my head on the steering wheel where i partly break down. "What have i done?" I ask myself.

Another buzz comes from my phone. 1 new message from -Gaz. Whilst i wipe my eyes i open the text. Mark? Are you ok? Where are you i'm getting worried? Gaz xx
I need to go to Gary's house...  I put the key in the engine where i set off to Gary's house.

After a short drive i arrive at Gary's. The living room light is on. He's probably watching tv hopefully he doesn't have company. I pick up my bag from the backseat and i walk through his gate to his house. Once i reach his front door i peer through the gap in the curtains to see Gary slightly dozing off on the sofa. He's wearing a tshirt and shorts watching tv crawled up a little. Softly i knock on the door. Within seconds i see a dark shadow appear at the door's glass. As soon as i see Gary i'm going to break down... i know i am.. Softly i bite my lip when the door comes open.
"Mark??" Gary looks at me worried. "Oh gosh Mark are you okay??  He places his hands on my shoulders.
"G..Gary...i..." I couldn't even finish my sentence as i break down into his arms.